18/11/20 BLOG 24: SPEEDY SELF-CARE

Hi everyone, Anna here this week.
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Normally when I sit down to think about blogs for Together Alone, I check in with folks to see how everyone is doing to try and gauge what might be useful this week as part of our exploration of self-care. Right now, pretty much everyone I know is feeling some sort of variation of rubbish. So I thought that this week, the blog needs to reflect and acknowledge this, as well as validate these shared feelings and provide some speedy self-care tips and tools. 
Normally when I sit down to think about blogs for Together Alone, I check in with folks to see how everyone is doing to try and gauge what might be useful this week as part of our exploration of self-care. Right now, pretty much everyone I know is feeling some sort of variation of rubbish. So I thought that this week, the blog needs to reflect and acknowledge this, as well as validate these shared feelings and provide some speedy self-care tips and tools.

First off, in case you’ve forgotten, (which I am sure you have not) – we are living in the midst of a global pandemic. We are collectively experiencing loss and trauma and a lack of hope. With the clocks changing, we have also now entered darker days and longer nights.  A friend I spoke to earlier said “life just feels really hard right now” and I am inclined to agree. I’m not trying to make you feel more miserable by listing all of the things that are affecting us just now, instead I want to let you know that if you aren’t feeling great right now, that you are not alone. Sometimes when we feel sad, angry or lost, it can be a really isolating experience. It can lead us to feel even worse about ourselves, as though we are not enough and somehow flawed for feeling this way. But there are big things happening out with our control at the moment that are affecting us and it’s important that we are given the space to say “you know what, things are hard”. I’m also here to gently remind you that you are enough. You are worthy of care, attention and love. We are living in unprecedentedly difficult and weird times and it’s normal to be affected by this.
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But what do we do when we are impacted like this? It’s times like these that we all draw upon the toolkits that we have built up, pick out our grounding spanner, or maybe even have a loan of someone else’s joy hammer (part of me wishes that these were real things…). What do you normally do when things feel overwhelming? What quick, straightforward things can we do that don’t take long, that don’t rely on purchasing some expensive “self-care” package, or “self-love candle”? With that in mind, here are a couple of suggestions from not only my toolkit, but others as well, in case you too are finding things a bit much right now. These are tips and tools that are quick and easy to do – because for some of us, that’s all we are able to manage right now. These also aren’t one size fits all, they won’t work for all of us all of the time. It’s important to try and check in with how you are feeling and then pick a speedy self-care activity that feels like the right fit for you. Some of these may not feel achievable and that’s OK – they are just suggestions, you may already have something tried and tested from your own toolkit that you can draw on to help if you feel overwhelmed.
SPEEDY SELF-CARE
  • Do 1 thing, just 1 thing, that you enjoy. Purely for yourself, whether it takes 5 minutes or 50. You deserve time to do things that you like. Sometimes it can be hard to remember the things you enjoy, or you feel paralysed by choice and can think of too many things you would like to do. Or you know what would help make you feel better, but actually doing it is a different story. You can read our blog here that talks more about how to help with this process
  • Look for the hope – write down 1 thing you are grateful for each day. This can be something small like “it didn’t rain today and I could get the washing out” or “I had a really nice chat with my neighbour”. Small things deserve to be celebrated just as much as big things
  • Ground yourself in the moment – here is a meditation from a woman with lived experience who kindly shared it with us
  • BREATHE. Breathe in for 4 and out for 4. Do this for 2 minutes. This video might help you to focus on your breath for a short while
  • Go outside – even for 5 minutes – breathe in some new air and change your scene. If going outside feels a bit much right now, consider opening a window and taking a few minutes to look out. What’s 5 things that you can see?
  • Message/phone/email someone you connect with and like. You don’t even need to tell them how you feel, just enjoy a brief connection with another person. If you do let them know how you are, you may be surprised at how helpful it can be to tell someone how you are feeling
  • Clean your immediate surroundings. For example, if you’ve been lying in bed, give your duvet a shake and change into fresh pyjamas. Pick up any cups/plates that might be sitting out and pop them in the sink.
  • If you’re feeling like you need to freshen up but don’t have the energy for a shower or bath, consider using some wet wipes and putting on some moisturiser and body lotion
  • Check in with what your body needs. Are you hungry or thirsty? Consider getting a quick snack – something that you can just grab – and a drink of water to keep yourself hydrated 

​I’m sorry that I don’t have any magical answers for what we are all going through right now, other than a message of solidarity and an attempt to hold on to some hope. We will get through this, and in the meantime, why not have a look through our blogs  and masterclasses to see if there are any other tools you can add to your toolkit at the moment. If it all feels too much and too overwhelming for you, then there is support available – have a look in the list below.

Here at  CLiCK we can offer emotional support, as well as a referral to counselling via the Encompass Fund and support and advocacy to tie in with local mental health services. We offer confidential:
WEBCHAT SESSION :
Monday & Tuesday: 12 noon-4pm
FACEBOOK MESSENGER SESSION:
Tuesday 6pm-9pm
HELPLINE on 0300 124 5564:
Monday, Tuesday, Friday 9am-11am, Thursday 6pm-9pm

You can contact Samaritans via phone on 116 123, email them at [email protected] or write them a letter  

Breathing Space is a confidential phoneline for anyone in Scotland over the age of 16, feeling low, anxious or depressed. Their number is  0800 83 85 87 and they are open -
Weekdays: Monday-Thursday 6pm to 2am
Weekend: Friday 6pm-Monday 6am
 
Umbrella Lane  who are a peer led sex worker organisation have linked with Wellbeing Scotland to provide counselling sessions  

You can also speak to your local GP if you feel comfortable to see what options there are for mental health support for you locally
Next week we will be back with another guest blog looking at creativity, fashion and self-care. We would love to hear from you if you’ve got any ideas for blogs or would like to share any tips and tools that work for you! Looking forward to hearing from you, take care,